Talked to someone earlier this morning and just read someone's blog. I realised that the devil is always trying to make us tired, lose our joy in serving God, and ultimately, to backslide in our walk with God.

Seriously speaking, I was really tired trying to cope with the many CG events and my school work. I lost my joy in the midst of the busyness. And I backslided in my heart. I mentioned in one of the posts that my friend said tiredness causes us to do wrong things because we are off our guard. I totally agree with it. So, whoever is reading this and you are feeling tired, I pray that you'll take a break from whatever you are doing, seek His face and find back your joy in serving Him.

Aishiteru...

I'm feeling kinda weird now. Seemed to be shivering, but I'm not cold at all... Seemed to be hungry, but I've eaten breakfast... Hmmm...

God is my Healer.

Things don't seem to go well whenever I plan to exercise. Planned to go rollerblading TWICE. It rained on BOTH occasion. Planned to play tennis tomorrow. And I have to fall sick today. :( Even if I feel better tomorrow, I guess I'll just rest at home. Need to play guitar for CGM again tomorrow. I better get well and flow with Wendy..

I caught a flu! :(

After sleeping in the air con room for a night, my nose can't stop "running". This makes me feel so tired and sleepy.

It'll be HOT if I don't switch on the air con. If I switched it on, I'll have runny nose. Sigh.

Fool Again -- Westlife

Baby, I know the story
I've seen the picture
It's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret
That you've been hiding
Who's gonna take my place

I should've seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway...I guess it's over

Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know
You never told me

Baby, you should've called me
When you were lonely
When you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me two many chances
To show how much I care

I should've seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway...I guess it's over

Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know You never told me

About the pain and the tears
Oh, Oh, Oh If I could, I would
Turn back the time
I should've seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway...I guess it's over

Couldn't believe this is happening. The tuition mum called me and woke me up this morning. Wanted me to give her son and daughter more tuition (3 or more times a week). And she said she'll tell the tuition agency that she doesn't like me and wants to terminate me, so that the tuition agency won't be deducting 50% from my 1st month earnings. I was a little hesitant, but she insisted and said she'll settle it. WoOooOo...

Thank God for favor!

After calculations, it's actually quite worth it to be giving full time tuition. May consider quitting my job in sch after 2 more yrs and give full time tuition instead. =D

Anyway, ______, you are still the 1st person that I think of whenever I'm happy or sad.

Just came back from tuition. Can't help but feel blessed! The family provided dinner for me and the father of the house drove me out to the mrt station which is about 1km+ away from their house. The mum even told me to give her kids extra lessons as and when necessary. So each month I can earn about $700+. I'm so glad! And I really hope that when school reopens, I'll still have the time to teach them and support myself financially. I don't want to end this halfway again!

I realised, it's really not easy to forget and let go of something/someone you love dearly.

Abba Father, never let me go...

I think nowadays the words that I used are more critical. Have I become bitter in my heart? Have I hurt you with my mean words? God, I need You to heal my heart.

Thank God for tuition assignment. I didn't go searching for it, but it came looking for me. Really wanted to work hard during the holidays but can't seem to really settle down at some place to work because I'm a civil servant. However, I'm still thankful that at least I can earn some money. This time round, I really hope I can teach the 2 kids for long. They are paying me quite a decent sum of money. So I'm really thankful. Thank You Jesus!

Just came back from my CG 1 hr ago. I was pretty surprised to see so many familiar faces in the CG!! Oh God! It's like a big reunion after many years... 1st Impression of this CG is, they are very nice and fun people. I had fun listening to them talk. Before we left the place, we were showed pictures of their Bintan trip and trip to their Malaysian member's house. Wow! I was impressed!!! They were so much like a family that go overseas together. That's what a CG is all about.

I'm looking forward to the JB trip that we are going to have in July.

1 thing to "worry" about: Finances! I think they go to expensive places to eat and fellowship. At least for this weekend for sure, cos they are celebrating someone's bday. God, You must provide more than enough for me.

I'm finally going to my new CG today. I don't know what to expect, but I'm happy that I have 2 friends in that CG and am looking forward to the leading of my CGL, Wendy. I was under her during the transition period many years ago. Was impressed and touched by her love and actions. Thus, I requested to be under her again after so many years. I guess I'll enjoy myself over there (hopefully).

I really miss W220 and W362 a lot. Very thankful that some of them still keep in contact with me. That's what true friendship is all about. Makes me feel that I didn't love them in vain.. it's all worthwhile.

To W220 and W362: Thanks for your love and support this season of my life. I'm really thankful to God for all of you. You've made a difference in my life, and you are making a difference in others' life too. So shine on for Christ!

To Huiling, Deb, Ying, Eunice, Suzy and May: Thanks for believing in me still and encouraging me. This friendship will go a long way... =D

To Yuzhen: Thanks for caring for all these people unreservedly. Thanks also for the friendship that will last as well.

2007, Best Year Yet??

I finally found time to update my blog. Or rather, I finally found the courage to blog...

2007...
These 6 months haven't been easy
I struggled in my walk with God
Struggled in studies, ministry..
Physically, emotionally worn out. DEPRESSION.
A friend told me this recently: "When we are tired, we tend to make mistakes.."

Yea, I agree. Made BIG mistakes. So, here I am, still trying to get over it.

I realised many things:
1) I'm not as strong as many thought I am.
2) There's emptiness in my soul.
3) I can never understand others unless I go through the same experiences before.
4) I learnt to be merciful to others because I understand.
5) I can be bitter in my heart.
6) I can struggle to get to sleep.
7) When my spirit is down, it's hard to be optimistic.
8) I can actually be very pessimistic at times.
9) I have some faithful friends but no one can be there for me 24/7.
10) Only God is available 24/7.